The Women’s World Cup

I spent my afternoon watching the women’s World Cup Final between the United States and Japan.  And although the United States didn’t win, our women have nothing to be ashamed of.  There’s something to be said about motivation.  The Japanese team was motivated from the Fukushima earthquake and nuclear reactor.  A similar thing happened in 1980 when the US hockey team was motivated by the failure of the Jimmy Carter presidency.

There were two things about the World Cup that bothered me.  The first thing is that overtime wasn’t sudden death.  The US scored the first goal in overtime.  In most other sports, the first team that scores wins.  There isn’t much scoring in soccer, so the first goal is that much more important.  The second thing that disturbed me was the game ending on penalty kicks.  Spending two hours playing soccer only to have a game end on penalty kicks is wrong (especially in a final game of a tournament.)

The NHL has a shootout to end tie games in the regular season.  But even they realize that a shootout is no way to determine who gets to hoist the Stanley Cup.  If Game 7 of the World Series was to be tied after nine innings, they would go to extra innings.  They wouldn’t resort to a home run derby to determine a championship.

Soccer would be more popular in the United States if it had a sudden-death format with whomever scoring first would win.  It would also help if they kept playing until somebody scored.

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Phillies – Yankees World Series

I used to get excited about watching the World Series, but I am not excited this year.  The primary reason why I am not looking forward is because I am a Washington Nationals fan.  I am not looking forward to watching two teams who each won more than 40 games than my Nats.  And as a fan of most Washington teams (does anybody follow the Wizards?), it is easy to hate Philadelphia and New York teams.  Because it is easy to hate both cities’ teams, it is hard to root for either the Yankees or the Phillies.

I would have been watching “Dancing with the Stars”, but Tom DeLay, a popular endorser of my campaign, had to bow out due to stress fractures in both of his feet.  I can’t root for anybody on “Dancing with the Stars” either.

I will be watching Monday Night Football tonight.  I will be watching my Redskins play against the hated Philadelphia Eagles.  Sherman Lewis will use his recent experience to call plays like “Corners”, “Picture Frame”, and “X”.  It should confuse the Eagles.  It might even confuse the Redskins.  GO REDSKINS!

Executive Orders

One of the perks of being a President is the ability to carry out executive orders.  There is some controversy over the effect Executive Orders have over the balance of power.  Critics say that they give too much power to the Executive Branch.  I am sensitive to how others feel.  I plan on limiting the number of Executive Orders I will use.  The only Executive Orders I plan on using are:

• Declare the Chicago Cubs the 1994 World Champions.  The World Series was not played in 1994 due to a players’ strike.   This will alleviate much of the pressures of playing for the Cubs.
• Declare the Washington Capitals 2004-05 Stanley Cup Champions.  The 2004-05 hockey season was canceled due to a lockout imposed by the owners.  I would also like to see the parade go down Pennsylvania Avenue.
• Replace “Presidents’ Day” with “Vanna White Day.”  Americans should not be deprived of the proper celebration of Vanna White’s Birthday (February 18) because we celebrate the birthdates of presidents (38 of whom have since passed away.)

There are other Executive Orders I would want to impose, but I do not want to ruin the delicate balance of power between the Legislative and Executive branches.  Therefore, I will have to ask Congress to replace “Casual Fridays” to “Wet T-Shirt” Fridays.

A Tremendous Honor

I would like to thank the Los Angeles Dodgers and Major League Baseball for the honor of throwing the first pitch tonight between the Dodgers and the Boston Red Sox. 

I was able to get tickets for tonight’s game for only $200.  Soon after I told people that I bought tickets, someone who works in Public Relations was able to get me to throw out the first pitch!

I am really stoked about tonight’s game.