Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

An Open Letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell

Dear Commissioner Goodell:

My name is Ahmnodt Heare and I am a lifelong NFL fan. (Hail to the Redskins!)  I like football so much that I would even sit through a Jaguars-Browns game if it was on television.  I have watched every Super Bowl since Super Bowl XVI (I might have watched earlier Super Bowls, but I was too young to remember watching them.)

I think you are by far the best commissioner in professional sports.  (I plan on writing an open letter rant to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman tomorrow in case you ever need to know how NOT to commission a league.)  Your overall good job aside, I am saddened by the current lockout of the NFL officials.

You constantly talk about the integrity of the game and have done much to maintain the integrity.  I think you fumbled the ball with the locking out of the officials, though.  It is hard to maintain integrity in the game when some of the replacement officials do not even know the rules of the game.  In last Monday night’s game between the Atlanta Falcons and the Denver Broncos, there was a defensive holding play against the Falcons.  A defensive holding penalty should be five yards.  They marched off eleven yards.  I believe that they intended to count off ten, but counted the yardage incorrectly  Ed Hochuli would have never allowed this to happen.

Officiating in sports is not easy.  I was once an umpire in a local church softball league.  I have gotten my share of calls on the field incorrect.  But I always awarded a walk to the batter after four balls (never three or five) and issue an out after the third strike (never after two or four.)

The National Football League is the best-ran league with the beat football players and the best fans.  The players and fans deserve the best officials.  Thank you for reading this letter.


Ahmnodt F.N. Heare

Lifelong Redskins fan and candidate for President of the United States.

P.S. If you please get me a pair of complementary tickets for the Redskins-Giants game at MetLife Stadium on October 21, it would be greatly appreciated.


September 24, 2012 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , ,


  1. I lost a $1200 proline ticket (Canadian style sports betting – 12 games, $2 ticket) because of 2 blown calls resulting in lost scores! Kill them all!

    Comment by Marc Phillippe Babineau | September 24, 2012

    • I am sorry for your loss. Telling from how close you were to a big payday, you are wise for ignoring my weekly picks.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | September 25, 2012

  2. “Hail to the Redskins” GO BENGALS

    Comment by bearmancartoons | September 25, 2012

    • I am going to pretend I didn’t read that.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | September 25, 2012

      • You can pretend all you want

        Comment by bearmancartoons | September 25, 2012

  3. […] of a major sports league.  I have already shown how I would handle problems currently in the NFL and NHL.  I could also be a good commissioner for the NBA and Major League […]

    Pingback by Keeping My Options Open « Ahmnodt Heare for President | September 26, 2012

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