Back at It

I’ll be returning to the swing of things tomorrow.   The vacation was both relaxing and healing.  I even found time to campaign in Matamoras, PA and New Paltz, NY.  I have been to New Paltz before.  The locals said “Oh no this guy again!” “Welcome back!”  People are pleasantly surprised that a presidential candidate is offering solutions that don’t screw the people.  People smile when they heard me.  In fact, if my hearing was better, I could have sworn they enjoyed what I had to say so much, their joy was a laughter.

Vacation was relaxing.  My hamstring feels much better.  I find fishing more relaxing when I don;t put anything on the hook.  I don’t have to fight the fish as I am reeling it in because fish won’t bite a bare hook.  There are no worries about the fish was big enough to keep or if I had to bring it back.  And because I didn;t have any fish biting, I was able to drink the six-pack uninterrupted.

There wasn’t much to do Friday night in the town I was staying in, so I didn’t do anything.  There wasn’t much to do Saturday afternoon either so I worked on my tan.  Although I was laying down the entire time, I worked on my tan too hard and got burnt.

The town was happening Saturday night.  First there was the spaghetti dinner at the volunteer fire house.  It seemed like the entire town was there.  My brain froze because I had no plans for fire houses.  (I still don’t, but I am working on it.  This is important to me because the spaghetti dinner wasn’t like mama used to make.)

I asked the gentleman I was eating next to what people in town do on a Saturday night.  He said most people just stay home but some people hang out at the gas station.  We went to the gas station.  It was one of those gas stations with a convenience store.  There wasn’t much to do there but shoot the breeze.  A man named Dave seemed to shoot the breeze with an Uzi.  He had some stories to tell about the time he ran for governor in 2006.  He told me a lot that I could learn if I could remember.  There was a lot of information so I bought a notebook and a pack of pens.  I wrote everything down, but left the notebook at the store.  The notebook was gone when I came back the following morning.

Sunday was a good day.  I went to a local church near where I was staying.  The church had a pot luck lunch after service.  They had spaghetti (I think it was leftovers from the firehouse, but I wasn’t sure.)  I was about to leave when a woman brought out a pot of Strawberry Stroganoff.  Not just any Strawberry Stroganoff, Grandma Oudda’s recipe.  I asked her where she got the recipe.  She said she got it from this blog.  I would like to thank Janet or Debbie (I forgot her name) for reading this blog and for making my weekend.

Wanted: Precinct Managers

Not everybody has the Internet.  Many people with Internet only go online to check their e-mail and download things like music, games, porn, and movies.  Others are on Facebook and Myspace, but aren’t looking for a presidential candidate or don’t like to discuss politics.

Two of the most common ways people vote for somebody are if the voter meets the candidate in person or by a glowing endorsement from somebody involved in the campaign.  Many campaigns do door-to-door to people’s houses.  I may do that in the future, but the plan for now is to canvass in the following areas:

• Bars – you can talk about just about anything with a drunk.  Just don’t agitate the person while he or she is in a drunken stupor.
• Church (or other place of worship) fellowship – My candidacy and platform are good ice-breaker for things like pot-luck dinners, family nights, and wife-swaps (the more liberal churches may engage in this).  Discussion of the campaign is strongly discouraged during worship service or Bible studies.  It wouldn’t hurt to ask for prayer for my campaign if prayer requests are taken.
• IRS audits – Being an IRS agent is a very difficult and unpopular job.  While my becoming President might not make them more popular, it could make their job easier.
• Nudie bars – Strippers tend to be open minded and are receptive to alternative ways of doing things (including voting for alternative politicians).
• Nursing homes – the elderly enjoy the company of others.  They appreciate candidates who have a plan to help save them money.

The job of Precinct Manager is simple:  To tell others about the campaign and to organize supporters to make sure everybody is on the same page.  As the campaign grows, if you feel like your precinct is getting too large, you can split the precinct and appoint someone the Manager of that new precinct.  You can make your job more exciting by betting other precincts over who can get the most supporters.  For a further discussion of what a Precinct Manager details, check out my show a week from tomorrow on Blogtalk Radio. Don’t forget to listen to tomorrow’s show as I talk to Mexican independent candidate for President of Mexico Noes Toiaqui.