Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Secrets I Will Take to My Grave

It is important for a presidential candidate to be able to keep secrets.  The President of the Unites States is given confidential information every day.  If this information is leaked, it could give the enemy an upper hand.  Sometimes the enemy is a terrorist group or a leader of a rogue nation,  Other times, it’s a political opponent that is the enemy who can destroy you with leaked secrets.  Below are some secrets I will be taking to my grave:

  • Grandma Oudda’s one-night tryst with one of Congressman Steny Hoyer’s political opponents.  Since Steny Hoyer beat the opponent anyway, there’s no reason to mention his or her name.
  • The secret to the marinade that Olvey’s Steak House in Dover, Delaware uses.  You will never hear it from me that the secret is two drops of vanilla extract.
  • I will never rat out the police officer who gave me my first speeding ticket that I saw him buying drugs from my neighbor a few months later.  The police chief would not like that.
  • I would never tell on my mayor.  Sure he took $5000 from the town treasury fund to help pay for his personal car, but it was on sale for a limited time more.  If he waited longer, then he would have to take more money to pay for the car.

Secrets told to me stay with me.  I will be a President that you can trust.

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April 1, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Secrets I Will Take to My Grave

Catching Up in Politics

I’m back before I miss too much going on and have to spend an entire weekend blogging.  President Obama is in a heap of trouble.  I will make my endorsement for New York City mayor tonight.

Between “Benghazigate”, The IRS fiasco, an the AP wiretapping mess, you’re probably regretting not voting for me for President last November.  I forgive you.  Just remember this entry in 2016 before you vote for one of the poor choices the Republicans and Democrats will be nominating.  Below is how I would have prevented Obama’s scandals from becoming scandals in an Ahmnodt Heare administration:

Benghazigate: – I wouldn’t have allowed a consulate office to be opened in Benghazi.  This is because like so many other Americans, I never heard of Benghazi before the diplomats were killed.  I would have kept them in Tripoli as long as it was safe.  If it got too risky to stay, I would have gotten the navy to pick them up and ship them across the Mediterranean Sea to Italy.

The IRS: – The IRS has supposedly been targeting certain non-profit organizations that were against the Obama Administration.  To the best of my knowledge, TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now) was not targeted because they were considered to be more pro-Ahmnodt Heare and less anti-Barack Obama.  This probably includes businesses that did not make profits because of the Obama administration’s poor fiscal policies.  My policies would make businesses prosper and leave non-profits alone as they don’t make enough money to interest me.

AP Wiretapping: – I don’t know why anybody would wiretap the Associated Press.  The news has sucked for years now.  I don’t know of any stories that were negative against the White House until lately.  I wouldn’t wiretap anybody because I wouldn’t want to get caught.

I have spent some time thinking about who I should endorse for Mayor.  The problem is that I have two friends of my campaign running for mayor.  Jimmy McMillan is one candidate.  Though he hasn’t endorsed my campaign, I agree with him when he says the rent is too damned high.  Anthony Weiner and I don’t see eye-to-eye on all of the issues, but that did not stop him from endorsing me last year. 

The person I am endorsing for mayor doesn’t currently live in New York City, but he had worked in Gotham for years.  He has fought crime better than any of the other candidates.  While he doesn’t currently live in New York, he is currently a mayor of a small town in Rhode Island.  He has had to battle issues like stolen water and sewage dumping, so he is ready to serve the fine people of New York City.

 

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

 

May 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, endorsement, foreign policy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Catching Up in Politics

Vernon Needs My Help!

My new town is messed up.  I have lived here in Vernon for two years.  I have never see a town deteriorate so fast.  I know that I said yesterday that the only job I was interested in was President and I went to a long discussion why I couldn’t be a senator.

My town of Vernon, New Jersey has three major issues:  Bears (the largest bear population in the U.S. per square mile), cameras at stop lights, and the repeal of the grass-size limit on lawns.  Property taxes are too high,  and we get little for what we pay.

I wanted to run for Mayor, but things are done a bit differently here.  We elect five town council members and the council members choose which one of them will become the mayor.  There is some things I can do as a town council member.  In addition to tackling the issues above, I can help get a movie theater in Vernon and name the street that movie theater is on “Celine Dion Street.”

I would also write legislation that would ban blogging on April Fools’ Day.  Or I would at least mandate that an April Fool’s blog intended to fool people end with “APRIL FOOL’S”.

April 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, legislation, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Vernon Needs My Help!

Reverend Billy Talen for NYC Mayor

This is the first time I have publicly endorsed a candidate other than myself.  Please watch the video below before reading the rest of this post.

While The Good Reverend and I are fighting different battles, many of the battles are based on the same principle.  That principle is that corporations take too much of our money.  Whether it’s directly (like consumerism) or indirectly (the closing of America’s “Mom-and-Pop” stores), or the Cinemafia, they have had their hands in your cookie jar for too long.  They are your cookies, and Reverend Billy will make sure you get to keep your cookies.

Vote for Reverend Billy Talen of the Green Party for Mayor on November 3.

March 5, 2009 Posted by | cinemafia, commentary, editorial, endorsement, issues, politics | , , , , , | Comments Off on Reverend Billy Talen for NYC Mayor

   

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