Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Canada’s Latest Weapon

Contrary to what Canadians will tell you, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a very clever man.  Not only has he been able to have his spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry, he has also been able to infiltrate the Untied States Senate representing a state that hates immigrants.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta.  Calgary may seem American, but it’s actually in Canada.  Just because the Calgary Flames play hockey against American-based team doesn’t make Calgary an American city any more than the Washington Capitals playing games against Canadian-based teams makes Washington, D.C. a Canadian city.

If that isn’t enough to scare you, Cruz’s father fought for Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution. Castro won the revolution, which lead to strained relations between the United States and Cuba as well as an embargo against Cuba.

I do not know why Republicans, who complained about President Obama possibly being born in Kenya knowingly support a candidate knowingly born outside the United States.  I wonder how Republicans (and Democrats) can be so cozy with a country like Canada.  If Republicans really loved the United States like the good patriots they claim to be, there is no way that they would consider voting for Ted Cruz in a primary.

Advertisements

March 24, 2015 Posted by | Canada, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Obama the Genius

I never thought I would say this, but Barack Obama is a genius.  People (including I) have been criticizing his foreign and health care policies.  But from what I had to figure out, he has tied the two together to keep Americans safe.  Here’s how:

ISIS – Rumor has it that there are ISIS troops in Mexico and are soon to invade the United States.  Even President Obama knows that drone strikes can’t be done in the United States like they have been done in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.  And sending the troops needed to protect the border isn’t as feasible as one would think as there isn’t enough housing for all of the troops.  So how does he stop ISIS from becoming a terror nightmare?

He stops ISIS be sending Ebola patients to the border.  That’s why there are Ebola patients in Texas.  The females will be disguised as ISIS sympathizers and slip the fighters tongue and other ways to send their bodily fluids into the bodies of ISIS.  They get sick and they die.

Well played, Obama.  Well played.

October 16, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy, health care, Obama | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Obama the Genius

Why I Have to Run for President

I was hoping that I would not have to run for President in 2016.  My life is getting more hectic as my parents’ health conditions are not getting better, my daughter and her mother are getting ready to move away, and the local “Hello Kitty” fan club is getting chaotic due to the lack of a fan club president.

The sad truth is that America is in bad shape now, and will continue to get worse if any for the popular candidates considering a run for president ends up getting elected.  Hillary Clinton isn’t going to fix anything.  Neither will Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul.  they will just continue the same debacle of a plan that America has been on since George W. Bush took office in 2001.  America will soon cease to exist as we know it if any of these people get elected.  They all would continue to carry out the same policies that George W. Bush and Barack Obama have carried out.  My platform is refreshingly different.

We cannot continue to have our police harass the good people when there are so many bad people who need to be arrested.  People like drug dealers, hoodlums, and hipsters need to be taken off the streets and into a jail that doesn’t have internet.  The system that the government uses to calculate inflation has to change to a system that includes the prices of things that go up.  Otherwise, you end up with what we have now.  (“Low” inflation based on the cost of merchandise at Dollar Tree.)

We need a foreign policy that discourages the knee-jerk reaction of bringing the troops all over the world to intervene in every situation.  Our wars have to be few, brief, and fiscally responsible.  They also have to be fought as humanely as possible.

The IRS needs to be taken out of health care, day care, and lemonade stands.  The TSA needs to be taken out of airports and replaced with massage therapists.  The FDA has to be told that cell phones are neither a food nor a drug and that cell phones shouldn’t have to meet FDA guidelines.

I am running for President because I want an America that I, my child, your children, and Nadia Suleman’s children can live in without fear of government becoming bankrupt either fiscally or morally and can plan a better lives for their children and grandchildren.

 

June 29, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, health care, humor, issues, Personal Life, politics, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why I Have to Run for President

Global Warming

Four inches of snow fell in southern Delaware on March 25.

Four inches of global warming snow fell in southern Delaware on March 25.

It’s time that we quit crying out “Global Warming” and “Climate Change.”  As I have stated in the past, climate change is a natural occurrence.  It gets cold in the winter before getting warm in the spring (usually) and hot in the winter before cooling off in the fall.

There are people who point out to data which suggests that the earth is getting warmer.  What they don’t tell you is that the person who initially collect the data has admitted that the data is flawed.  Nobody ever mentions that we got out of the Ice Age long before the American revolution.

For the next few weeks, I will be encouraging global warming.  I will be encouraging it until it starts getting hot.  The fight against global warming will resume after Memorial Day.

I have been campaigning and will continue to campaign though postings have been sparse in recent months.  I will be campaigning in New York City on April 5.  I will be picketing Canada’s latest invasion, the Tim Horton’s in Times Square.  Picketing will begin as soon as I get a day’s supply of Timbits.

 

March 27, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, environment, foreign policy, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Have to Speak Out

Despite my personal life getting complicated, I have been able to hit the campaign trail.  There is a growing dislike of Canadians from everybody that I talk to.  The hatred started building last month when US government officials were contemplating taking my advice and deporting Canadian spy Justin Bieber.  It built up a bit more last week when Canada’s men’s and women’s hockey teams beat their American counterparts in the men’s semifinals and the women’s gold medal games, respectively.

The final straw has come this week with Canada invading American air space with their “Operation Polar Vortex”.  I am convinced that this is a directive given out by Prime Minister Stephen Harper.  I have decided not to wait until “President” Obama decides he is going to do something.  The planning stages are already underway for what I am calling, “Operation Gulf Melt” aimed at Canadian curling rinks.  Anybody can roll a stone on ice, but it takes American talent to skip a stone on water.

I am currently having difficulties finding a place to host my radio and television shows podcasts.  My father doesn’t like it that I have taken to yelling and my mother keeps a bar of Safeguard nearby.  They are both doing better, but neither able to live alone.

I will be in Delmar (either Delaware or Maryland – I forget which one, though the two Delmars do border each other.) campaigning this Friday and Saturday.  I hope to see you there!

February 26, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, foreign policy, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on I Have to Speak Out

He said, “No.”

I thought for sure my campaign manager wanted to run for Senator.  He could have ridden my coattails.  I could have had him stumping with me in 2016.  He doesn’t want to run for Senate.  The reason that he gave me was that he has skeletons in his closet that need to remain in the closet.  I have seen his closet.  I did not see anything that was embarrassing except for a slightly overused inflatable doll.

His lack of desire to run for office did not stop my manager from setting up my campaign schedule for the following week.  My first campaign stop is Saturday afternoon at Brooke Wheatsworth’s seventh birthday party. This stop is for the 2024 campaign, when Brooke and her friends will be old enough to vote.   I make campaign stops for children because I will be the first presidential candidate that many children will meet.

I will be in Ottawa on Monday and Tuesday holding a rally in front of the US Embassy.  I will have a petition for Canadians to sign which will allow them to vote for President of the United States.  I am doing this because the President of the United States is the leader of the free world.  Many people feel that Americans should not be the only people voting for the leader of the free world.  My being the first Presidential candidate to address this issue will give me the upper hand in overseas voting.

There will be fewer campaign stops in cemeteries than in prior campaigns.  These stops will be limited to heavily-Democratic states and large Democratic-leaning cities in Republican states.  The time I had wasted in the past will not be used in campaigning in more conventional settings like political rallies and city morgues.

The week ahead will be hectic.  I will try my best to keep you informed on highlights from the campaign trail as events occur.

June 11, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, foreign policy, humor, issues, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on He said, “No.”

Catching Up in Politics

I’m back before I miss too much going on and have to spend an entire weekend blogging.  President Obama is in a heap of trouble.  I will make my endorsement for New York City mayor tonight.

Between “Benghazigate”, The IRS fiasco, an the AP wiretapping mess, you’re probably regretting not voting for me for President last November.  I forgive you.  Just remember this entry in 2016 before you vote for one of the poor choices the Republicans and Democrats will be nominating.  Below is how I would have prevented Obama’s scandals from becoming scandals in an Ahmnodt Heare administration:

Benghazigate: – I wouldn’t have allowed a consulate office to be opened in Benghazi.  This is because like so many other Americans, I never heard of Benghazi before the diplomats were killed.  I would have kept them in Tripoli as long as it was safe.  If it got too risky to stay, I would have gotten the navy to pick them up and ship them across the Mediterranean Sea to Italy.

The IRS: – The IRS has supposedly been targeting certain non-profit organizations that were against the Obama Administration.  To the best of my knowledge, TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now) was not targeted because they were considered to be more pro-Ahmnodt Heare and less anti-Barack Obama.  This probably includes businesses that did not make profits because of the Obama administration’s poor fiscal policies.  My policies would make businesses prosper and leave non-profits alone as they don’t make enough money to interest me.

AP Wiretapping: – I don’t know why anybody would wiretap the Associated Press.  The news has sucked for years now.  I don’t know of any stories that were negative against the White House until lately.  I wouldn’t wiretap anybody because I wouldn’t want to get caught.

I have spent some time thinking about who I should endorse for Mayor.  The problem is that I have two friends of my campaign running for mayor.  Jimmy McMillan is one candidate.  Though he hasn’t endorsed my campaign, I agree with him when he says the rent is too damned high.  Anthony Weiner and I don’t see eye-to-eye on all of the issues, but that did not stop him from endorsing me last year. 

The person I am endorsing for mayor doesn’t currently live in New York City, but he had worked in Gotham for years.  He has fought crime better than any of the other candidates.  While he doesn’t currently live in New York, he is currently a mayor of a small town in Rhode Island.  He has had to battle issues like stolen water and sewage dumping, so he is ready to serve the fine people of New York City.

 

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

 

May 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, endorsement, foreign policy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Catching Up in Politics

%d bloggers like this: