Defending Mitt Romney

DISCLAIMER:  This shall in no way be looked at as an endorsement.  I am still running for President and for the time being will only endorse myself.  

Before I do the dubious deed of defending Mitt Romney, let me point that he still has a bunch of flaws.  He is the architect of ObamaCare and believes in mandating health insurance.  He has changed his position on a number of issues including abortion.  The oil required to keep his hair slick has risen oil prices $.15/barrel.

Mitt Romney is a very rich man.  There is nothing wrong with that.  He made $43 million in 2011 without having to work.  I wouldn’t be honest if I said I don’t envy the bejeebus of him.  People like to point out that he only paid 13.7% in income taxes.  They fail to mention that 13.7% translates to $6 million.  How many of you paid $6 million in taxes?  I didn’t.  I probably won’t pay that much over the course of my lifetime.

He also gave $7 million to various charities.  $4 million went to the Mormon Church.  $3 million went to other charities that help the poor.  Between taxes and charities, Romney never saw $13 million of what he made (or 30% of his pay.)  That is near the highest bracket.  Romney’s 30% comes after deductions.

Don’t get me wrong, I do NOT want Romney to be President.  But with so many other weaknesses to choose from, who much money he paid in taxes shouldn’t be one of the things to nail him on.  I hope to make enough money to pay $6 million in taxes and not sweat.

Here They Come!

Brace yourselves, America!  Last night I received a text from my running mate Albee Thayer that there is a superPAC in the works in Texas that plans to run anti-Ahmnodt Heare ads on television and radio in February.  Their original plan was to run an ad during the Super Bowl, but NBC nixed the ad stating they do not run political ads during the Super Bowl.

If you are looking for an internship with a major media company, Then write NBC, tell them that Ahmnodt Heare does not have an embed for his campaign and that you are willing to be that embed.

Tonight will be the last debate (8:00PM EST – CNN) the Republicans will have until February 22.  This is good news for people who have been playing drinking games during debates because their livers will finally have a chance to heal.  I am the only presidential candidate to play drinking games while debating so I am the only candidate who feels the pain.

I still haven’t gotten a microphone for my computer so production for my video and radio ads are on stand-by.  I am hoping to have them both finished this weekend.

One More Debate

If there is anything worse than the lack of quality Republican and Democratic Presidential candidates, it’s the lack of quality in Presidential debate moderators.  Tomorrow is another chance to be proven wrong.  There will be a debate on CNN tomorrow night at 8:00PM Eastern.  Once again, I will be taking my ever-sharpened debating skills to Twitter.  I don’t know why candidates have so many problems keeping their answers under one minute when I can keep my answers under 140 characters with hashtags added for effect.

I do not know who will be asking the questions on CNN, but here is a guideline they can use to look competent:

• Know the issues that affect the voters – People don’t want to know how many wives Newt Gingrich has had or how much money Ahmnodt Heare pays for a lap dance.  They want the important issues:  Jobs, the economy, and affordable entertainment.
• Realize that Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are not the only candidates on the stage.  Rick Santorum and Ron Paul are there too.  I doubt they are taking time out of their busy schedules to go watch Mitt and Newt debate.
• Know something about the candidates on stage and use questions accordingly.  If you’re going to ask the business man questions about economics, wouldn’t it make sense to ask the OB/GYN questions about health care?  If I was debating, I would expect this former movie theater manager to be included in discussions about affordable entertainment.

If tomorrow night’s debate becomes yet another “Mitt and Newt Show” with a bunch of subjects that have nothing to do with running a country, I will take steps in getting people to boycott Time-Warner (CNN’s parent company).  This includes Time, Warner Brothers (whom I’m already boycotting – damned Cinemafiosos), and Time-Warner Cable.

I anticipate that CNN will remember what professional journalism is all about tomorrow night when they host the debate.  And that they will remember to include Buddy Roemer, Vermin Supreme, and Ahmnodt Heare in future debates so that Americans will have more choices (including a few that don’t suck.)

Watch Me Live Here Tonight!

I will be giving live commentary to President Obama’s “State of the Union” Address tonight.  If it happens to between 9:00PM and 10:40PM Eastern and click the video below, you will be watching me LIVE!.

You can either join the chat where I will also be fielding questions and giving shoutouts or you can leave a comment below.  I will be checking this page from time to time and also after the speech to answer questions and comments.

Brief Poll

Today has been a busy day at the office as I met a client who has had a total of four days experience with the internet and had never had an e-mail account.  I spent the day teaching him the finer points of the internet like e-mail, social networking, and surfing the web for improtant stuff like news, business, and porn.

Tonight at 9:ooPM Eastern is a debate on NBC.  I will once again be taking to Twitter and Facebook giving how I would respond to the questions as well as giving my cutting-edge commentary on the other candidates.  I have been criticized by some people for not being hard on Ron Paul on debates.  This is mostly because he isn’t asked as many questions as the other candidates.

I want to do something different and I would appreciate your input.  My campaign is all about anyway.  The “State of the Union” address is tomorrow night.  There is a debate on Thursday night.  I want to comment live on AhmnodtTV for either the State of the Union tomorrow or the debate on Thursday.

 

The Fix is In!

The media has missed a few things involving yesterday’s primary in South Carolina.  Below are the results:

	Gingrich	40.4%	243,153
	Romney	27.8%	167,279
	Santorum	17.0%	102,055
	Paul	13.0%	77,993
	Cain	1.1%	6,324
	Perry	0.4%	2,494
	Huntsman	0.2%	1,161
	Bachmann	0.1%	494

Results courtesy of Google Politics

The first question I am asking is how can a candidate who had to cancel campaign events due to lack of interest the day before the primary win the primary by over 12 percentage points?  Here was a man who was getting badly in the polls earlier in the week.  After the poll was taken it was discovered that The Newtered One wanted an opened marriage with his second wife so he can have affairs.  One would think that would have hurt him more, especially in a state with a large evangelical Christian voting bloc.  Yet he managed to win big.

The second question had to do with the 90,000 deceased people who voted.  I was the only candidate who bothered to court this demographic.  One would have thought that with just the deceased vote I would have enough votes to finish ahead of Ron Paul.  South Carolina and I share a common bond – an appreciation for Vanna White and all that She stands for.  She was born in North Myrtle Beach and South Carolinians like their people.  I have had a good relationship with the Vanna White supremacists in the state.  That should have helped me get more votes.  If you take the 90,000 votes from Newt Gingrich, you would get a result more accurately reflecting the polls.

I hope that the Federal Election Commission, investigative journalists, and the Scooby-Doo gang all investigate the shenanigans of the election and fix it before Florida’a primary and that this does not happen again!

New Experiment

Below is the list for the primaries and caucuses after today’s in South Carolina:

January 31, 2012	Florida (primary)
February 4, 2012	Nevada (caucus)
February 4–11, 2012	Maine (caucus)
February 7, 2012	Colorado (caucus) Minnesota (caucus) Missouri (primary)
February 28, 2012	Arizona (primary) Michigan (primary)
March 3, 2012	Washington (caucus)
March 6, 2012 (Super Tuesday)	Alaska (caucus) Georgia (primary) Idaho (caucus) Massachusetts (primary) North Dakota (caucus) Ohio (primary) Oklahoma (primary) Tennessee (primary) Vermont (primary) Virginia (primary)
March 6-10, 2012	Wyoming (caucus)
March 10, 2012	Kansas (caucus) U.S. Virgin Islands (caucus)
March 13, 2012	Alabama (primary) Hawaii (caucus) Mississippi (primary)
March 17, 2012	Missouri (GOP caucus)
March 18, 2012	Puerto Rico (primary)
March 20, 2012	Illinois (primary)
March 24, 2012	Louisiana (primary)
April 3, 2012	District of Columbia (primary) Maryland (primary) Wisconsin (primary) Texas (primary)
April 24, 2012	Connecticut (primary) Delaware (primary) New York (primary) Pennsylvania (primary) Rhode Island (primary)
May 8, 2012	Indiana (primary) North Carolina (primary) West Virginia (primary)
May 15, 2012	Nebraska (primary) Oregon (primary)
May 22, 2012	Arkansas (primary) Kentucky (primary)
June 5, 2012	California (primary) Montana (primary) New Jersey (primary) New Mexico (primary) South Dakota (primary)
June 26, 2012	Utah (primary)

I am not sure if my plan will work in caucuses, but my plan will in primaries and it will for the general election.  This innovative plan will be taught in Political Science courses for years to come.  Take a vacation anywhere in the United States on Election Day week!  Don’t vote on Election Day!  You have better things to do with your time than spending hours on line on Election Day only to be stuck behind people who don’t know how to fill out a ballot.

There are a few things you need to do before you go on vacation:

• Go to the county (parish in Louisiana) (BOEE in Washington DC) Board of Elections and pick up an absentee ballot.
• Fill in the ballot including “Ahmnodt Heare“ (without quotes) under “President of the United States” .  Click the link if you need a way to remember how to spell my name.  And “Albee Thayer” for Vice-President.  Feel free to choose who you want for other offices on your ballot.  Make a photocopy for your records.
• Mail the ballot (Original, not photocopy!) by October 23.  (Two weeks before the primary or caucus in your state for primaries and caucuses). This will allow plenty of time to make sure your ballot is received by Election Day.

This will leave you all Election Day to do whatever you want.  You can even campaign for me the entire time the polls are opened without having to worry about voting.

Enjoy your vacation and thank you for your support!