How to Bring Traffic to Your Blog

http://www.alphainventions.com

The best thing you can do to bring people to your blog is to write every day.  If you don’t write something, people won’t come to see what you haven’t written.

If you write about something that isn’t very popular, then write an entry about something popular and how it relates to the boring crap you usually write.

Read other people’s blogs and read a comment.  Don’t type, “I have naked pictures of Nancy Pelosi” and link it to your site because people do not like spam.  Pick something out of the article and give your opinion.  Many blog reply areas have a section where you type in your name and website.  If you leave a thoughtful response, people will click your name and go to your site.

Use keywords – but make sure the keywords are relevant to your entry.  If you use “sex” as a keyword, make sure your blog is about sex and not about a librarian in Mansfield, Ohio.  You can use up to seven keywords per entry.  If you use more, then your keywords will have about as much value as a fiat dollar.

Exchange links – If you and another blogger like each other’s blogs, then post his or her link on your website and have him or her do the same.  Playboy’s blog does not exchange links.  (Not that I have ever been to their blog.)

Find marketing blog services – Some, like Alpha Inventions, will do it for free.  Just make sure you follow the instructions.  If you have problems, then ask your child to do it.  They know more about computers than you do.

I hope you find the advice useful.  And don’t forget to vote for me for President on November 6, 2012.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt Heare

Independent Write-In Candidate for President

Happy Birthday America!

The Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign would like to wish America a happy 233rd birthday.

Small Town Blues

I have done just about everything I wanted to do in my town yesterday.  I haven’t gone to the water park yet, but the weather hasn’t been promising for water rides.  My daily activities include going to the diner just so I get out of the house.

One of the things I am doing while I’m home is working on my unauthorized autobiography.  The name of the book is tentatively titled, “Ahmnodt for You.”  The problem I am having in writing it is that I don’t know if I want to write is as a life story with a small emphasis on my 2008 and 2012 campaigns or if I should emphasize my campaigns with just enough tidbits about my life to make people understand why I am running for president.

Some time will be spent on doing minor repairs around my house.  I need a few small things like a new toilet tank and a new bedroom wall.  These things shouldn’t take too long to fix. Off to the hardware store!

My Neighborhood

I mentioned yesterday that I am on a staycation and I am spending the rest of the holiday weekend in my neighborhood.  I just found out that I live next to Mountain Creek Water Park.  I will spend a day there if it ever stops raining and starts warming up.

Dinner was at the McAfee Diner and Deli on Route 94.  I overheard the customer in the table behind me explain to his dinner companion about “cap and trade”.  He said that government had no right telling businesses how to run their businesses.  I told him that I agree and told him about the woes of my friend Darrell Watkins.  The government shut down his portable pharmaceutical company because they did not see the medicinal benefits of meth, crack cocaine, or heroin.  They also said Darrell didn’t have a license to sell drugs.  The man gave me a strange look.

I will spend today at the Crystal Springs Spa.  It will probably be crowded with the holiday weekend, but I will feel up to being in public after a nice massage.

Staycation

I have returned from Oregon with five days left in my vacation.  I was thinking of going somewhere for the Fourth of July weekend, but I didn’t want to spend half of my vacation parked on I-95 like I have done in past vacations.  This year will be different,  I will stay in my hometown and check out what my town has to offer.

I have spent so much time on the road that I don’t know if my town has any hotties.  Traveling hours for meaningless sex gets tiring after a while.  It would be nice to cater to my carnal pleasures without using a passport.  South Carolina governor Mark Sanford can relate.

The only business in my town that I have frequented since I moved here from North Carolina last year has been the gas station to get out of town.  This staycation will not only benefit me in getting to know my town better, but I will be able to listen to the concerns of my neighbors.  I think my neighbors will like having a presidential candidate for a neighbor.

Impeach Mark Sanford!

I rarely call for an elected official to be impeached, but the situation surrounding South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford warrant such a proceeding.  I am not going to call for an impeachment over an affair.  Elected officials are often tempted by hotties.  I cannot guarantee at this time that I wouldn’t be tempted if I was an elected official.

The reason why I am calling for Mark Sanford to be impeached is because of all of those trips to Argentina.  It is difficult if not impossible to govern a state while in a foreign country.  If I am elected President, I vow to minimize my trips oversees and to frequent only American brothels.

The people of South Carolina deserve a governor who does not mind living in South Carolina.  Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot be the governor of all 50 states.

The Trek Home

I have decided that enlightenment is not for me.  My brief time here saw many celebrities die.  Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all passed away in the week I was at the ashram.

I wanted to leave but the armed guards wouldn’t let me.   The only way out was by escape.  I volunteered to take out the garbage after dinner.  I did my impersonation of a father going out for ice cream and didn’t return.

The sun was setting in the western sky.  I am sure it was a beautiful sunset, but I didn’t know because I walked east.  I kept walking until I saw a motel.  It was a old building on the outside bordering on blight.  The inside was kept in good condition.  The motel is in a small town called “Bonanza.”  I would spend last night in Like the ashram, it was in the middle of nowhere.

I will soon head to Medford by bus.  From Medford,I will be taking a bus to Portland.  I will spend tonight in Portland and fly home tomorrow.

R.I.P. Billy Mays

I was saddened to learn that Billy Mays mysteriously died this morning.

Billy Mays 1958-2009

I feel ashamed to admit that I didn’t like Billy Mays wearing the OxiClean shirt when I first saw the photo.  But to understand Billy Mays is to understand that he had a passion for every product he endorsed.  Sometimes I wish I had that kind of passion for my campaign.

He will be missed.