Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Obama the Genius

I never thought I would say this, but Barack Obama is a genius.  People (including I) have been criticizing his foreign and health care policies.  But from what I had to figure out, he has tied the two together to keep Americans safe.  Here’s how:

ISIS – Rumor has it that there are ISIS troops in Mexico and are soon to invade the United States.  Even President Obama knows that drone strikes can’t be done in the United States like they have been done in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.  And sending the troops needed to protect the border isn’t as feasible as one would think as there isn’t enough housing for all of the troops.  So how does he stop ISIS from becoming a terror nightmare?

He stops ISIS be sending Ebola patients to the border.  That’s why there are Ebola patients in Texas.  The females will be disguised as ISIS sympathizers and slip the fighters tongue and other ways to send their bodily fluids into the bodies of ISIS.  They get sick and they die.

Well played, Obama.  Well played.

October 16, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy, health care, Obama | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Please Help a Dear Supporter

Janine has been more than a campaign supporter the past few years, she has been a friend.  She is a Type 1 diabetic and the disease has taken a toll on her vision.  She is no longer able to drive to work and she needs money for diabetes supplies and to pay other bills since she is currently unable to work.

More information including how and where to donate can be found here:  My presidential campaign accepts no donations for my campaign.  If you want to donate to my campaign, donate to Janine’s cause.  Because she’s a big supporter, it’s like donating to my campaign (except by donating to Janine’s cause, it’s a tax-deduction that couldn’t be claimed donating to me.

October 5, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , | Leave a comment

2014 NFL Season – Week 2

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
9/11 8:25 ET At Baltimore -2.5 Pittsburgh
9/14 1:00 ET At Carolina -3 Detroit
9/14 1:00 ET At Buffalo PK Miami
9/14 1:00 ET At Washington -6 Jacksonville
9/14 1:00 ET At Tennessee -3.5 Dallas
9/14 1:00 ET Arizona -2.5 At NY Giants
9/14 1:00 ET New England -3 At Minnesota
9/14 1:00 ET New Orleans -6.5 At Cleveland
9/14 1:00 ET At Cincinnati -5 Atlanta
9/14 4:05 ET At Tampa Bay -6 St. Louis
9/14 4:05 ET Seattle -6 At San Diego
9/14 4:25 ET Houston -3 At Oakland
9/14 4:25 ET At Green Bay -8.5 NY Jets
9/14 4:25 ET At Denver -12 Kansas City
9/14 8:30 ET At San Francisco -7 Chicago

Monday Night Football Point Spread

9/15 8:35 ET At Indianapolis -3 Philadelphia

Record last week: (6-9-1) Record for Season (6-9-1)
Best Bets last week: (2-1) Best Bets for season: (2-1)

September 11, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt | 2 Comments

2014 NFL Season – Week 1

I haven’t done this since 2012, so this could get interesting.  I watched football in 2013, but I didn’t have time to make predictions.  If I was to predict with my heart, I would have been saddened from all the times I would have picked the Redskins to win.  This has nothing to do with running for President of the United States except to show that I am more like you than any of the major candidates who will run in 2016.

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
9/4 8:35 ET At Seattle -5.5 Green Bay
9/7 1:00 ET New Orleans -3 At Atlanta
9/7 1:00 ET At St. Louis -3.5 Minnesota
9/7 1:00 ET At Pittsburgh -6.5 Cleveland
9/7 1:00 ET At Philadelphia -10.5 Jacksonville
9/7 1:00 ET At NY Jets -5 Oakland
9/7 1:00 ET At Baltimore -2 Cincinnati
9/7 1:00 ET At Chicago -7 Buffalo
9/7 1:00 ET At Houston -3 Washington
9/7 1:00 ET At Kansas City -4 Tennessee
9/7 1:00 ET New England -5 At Miami
9/7 4:25 ET At Tampa Bay -2.5 Carolina
9/7 4:25 ET San Francisco -5 At Dallas
9/7 8:30 ET At Denver -7.5 Indianapolis

Monday Night Football Point Spread

       
9/8 7:10 ET At Detroit -6 NY Giants
9/8 10:25 ET At Arizona -3 San Diego

 

Projected winners in bold – Best bets in italics.
Record last week: (0-0) Record for Season (0-0)
Best Bets last week: (0-0) Best Bets for season: (0-0)

I will give my reasoning for the best bets upon request if asked in the comments section. 

September 4, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, NFL Picks | , , | 1 Comment

Not So Fast!

I have been the victim of the latest rumor going around the internet:

Rumors of presidential candidate Ahmnodt Heare's death will hopefully be silenced.

Rumors of presidential candidate Ahmnodt Heare’s death will hopefully be silenced.

My whereabouts the last two weeks:

July 18-20 – New York campaign trip:  Never hire an anarchist to be your campaign manager if you can help it.  The only reason why I did was because he works for free (which is about all I can afford.)  He got the dates and the venues mixed up.  The one bright spot was when a supporter recognized me and said that he voted for me.

July 21 – Chester, PA – Car died:  It had rained Sunday and I drove with my headlights on, only forgetting to turn them off when I got out of the car.

July 22-26 – Seaford, DE:  I was running my business so I can buy luxuries like food and clean underwear.

July 27-29 – Annapolis, MD – I was driving on my way to Baltimore for a dinner date when my car ran out of gas.  It was soon afterwards that I realized that I left my wallet at home and had no money for gas. (Or date, toll bridge on the way back, or the spotted dick pudding my mother wanted me to pick up on my way home.  My cell phone died when I tried to call home.  It took a few days to find a Good Samaritan.

July 30-August 2 – Seaford, DE: Some work and some rest.

August 3 -Nanticoke River (near Seaford, DE):  I went rafting in an inflatable raft.  While my raft did collide with another inflatable raft, there were no injuries nor was there any damage to either raft.

August 4 – Seaford, DE: Trying to convince people who were paying their last respects that I was indeed still alive and not a clever campaign strategy to campaign to dead people by being dead.

I am alive.  I am a bit tired, but well.  Tomorrow will be spent looking for finding places for meet-and-greets in southern Delaware and eastern Maryland (East of the Chesapeake Bay.)

August 4, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

New York Campaign Stops

I will be hitting the road tomorrow and will be spending the weekend campaigning in the Lower Hudson Valley section (West of the Hudson).  Tomorrow night is technically not a campaign stop, but I will be attending a fundraiser for victims of spousal and parental abuse.  Spousal abuse is not one of those topics that is controversial.  People are either against it or they are the perpetrators.

Saturday morning will be spent at a street corner somewhere in Marlboro, NY where I will be unveiling my new contraception plan.  The Supreme Court recently ruled that Hobby Lobby (and other companies) are not obligated to provide medical coverage for contraception.  My plan is to have contraception drop-off sites and give the contraception to people who have been complaining about the ruling.  These people need contraception and we need to give them contraception because the last need we need is for these people reproducing.

There will be two stops on Saturday evening.  The first stop will be at the Hudson Water Club in West Haverstraw, NY.  I will give a speech on water pollution and how to clean up the Hudson River.  I will have the filter from my fish tank  ready as soon as I can find an extension cord to plug the filter so it can operate.  (There are no outlets in the Hudson River as far as I know.)  The second will be at the Lexington Bar and Grill in Bardonia.  I will either offer a sensible property tax plan or I will offer advice on how to move out of the area.  What I speak about depends on the mood of the crowd.  If they start lighting torches and moving towards me, I will change the subject.

I will be in Nanuet on Sunday morning, but only to pick up the world famous rolls from Rockland Bakery.  They deliver rolls from New England to Delaware.  My campaign manager swears by them, so I will do him a favor and pick him up some rolls.

July 17, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

ObamaCare – Worse Than I Thought

I have been a harsh critic of the Affordable Care Act (known in the streets as “ObamaCare”).  It was bad enough when I unable to keep my current plan (which was “none”).  I found out firsthand how bad ObamaCare is getting when I went to visit my doctor for what was supposed to be a routine blood sampling.

Below is the timeline of my time at the doctor’s office:  (Time entries in bold are entries spent in the office.  Other entries are before and after the visit.)

7/8/14 – 9:00PM – Finished my last snack and started fasting for the blood work.  Fasting is supposed to last twelve hours.

7/9/14 = 9:15AM – Arrive at doctor’s office for a 9:30 appointment.

7/9/14 – 9:30AM – Scheduled time of appointment

7/9 = 9:30-10:15 – Other patients with appointments between 9:30 and 10:00 arrive.

7/9 = 9:40-10:30 – Those mentioned above got to see the doctor.

7/9 = 10:45 – I finally got admitted.

7/9 – 11:00 – Health assistant starts performing total checkup.  (I had my checkup in January and was not scheduled for a checkup). Started developing a caffeine-depleted headache.

7/9 – 11:45 – Getting prepped for blood work.

7/9 – 12:00 –  Informed that my insurance will not pay for the blood work.  I decided that I would hold off on the blood work until I was sure I had the money to pay for the tests.  They took an impromptu urine sample. 

7/9 – 12:10PM – Tried to schedule another appointment.  The next free day is the middle of August. 

7/9 – 3:45PM – Received a phone call from the doctor’s office that there was a “loophole” and that there was a way that my insurance would pay for the blood work.  I was also informed that there was an opening tomorrow, but not until 3:00PM.

I now have to go through another 12-hour fast and I probably will not be able to eat or drink until at least 4:00PM.  I will probably get another headache.

July 9, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, health care, issues, Obama, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off

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