The Council on Presidential Debates requires that a candidate gets 15% of votes in polling. Until now, the choices that were offered in the polls were few and incomplete as not all candidates were mentioned. This poll will not include all the candidates, just candidates who do not have a negative approval rating.
Who will you vote for President of the United States?
A) Ahmnodt Heare
B) Vermin Supreme
I hope to have a polling app edited into this post soon, until then, feel free to answer in the comments section.
April started out with the joke on me and ended up being a joke. I was hospitalized and was unable to partake in the “Orgies for Abstinence”. I was invited to debate other third party candidates, but I did not receive the invitation until the night before the debate. Since the debate was in Los Angeles, I was unable to attend.
The month found me defending stay-at-home moms and bashing the Cinemafia be celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking and over 1000 people dying. The “Ahmnodt Heare Meme” was introduced. The campaign went into attack mode with aggressively mentioning my campaign on blogs supporting Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Vermin Supreme, and Justin Bieber.
The attack mode was short-lived as some of my supporters complained of getting spammed with Justin Bieber videos and robo-calls from Obama’s and Romney’s campaigns as well as one supporter receiving repeated calls from a candidate running for Dog Catcher.
April showed so much promise in the beginning, but it ended up being a big April Fool’s joke.
The 2012 election was a disaster. Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win. I received fewer votes than in 2008. I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.
Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy. And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.
The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base. Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.
My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking. I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.
My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016. But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign. There might even be a PayPal account for donations. (I hate asking for money.)
There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.
The first debate is on Wednesday, October 3 at 9:00PM Eastern (8 Central, 7 Mountain, 6 Pacific, etc.). I hope you won’t have to drive after the debate tomorrow night. Going to work on Thursday morning might not be a good idea either. Below are guidelines for when to drink when President Obama, Mitt Romney, and Ahmnodt Heare say something.
Have a drink every time Obama says:
- Affordable Health Care Act
- Top 1%
- The 47%
- Failed Republican policies
Have a Drink every time Romney says:
- Failed Obama policies
- Soft on the Middle East
Have a drink every time Heare says:
- Vermin Supreme
In order to save your liver, if you find yourself drinking because of something that either Obama or Romney said that is not part of the drinking game (There will be a lot of those moments), you can exempt yourself from one of the cues to drink. There might also be a moment or two when the moderator Jim Lehrer will make you want to drink for asking a stupid question.
Enjoy the debate! I will be debating in real time in my new chat room. You do not need an account to sign up and chat and ask me questions Jim Lehrer wouldn’t dare.
Tonight at 11:00PM Eastern
12:30AM (Tuesday morning) – Newfoundland
I will give an update to my campaign as well as offer insight to what presidential candidates Obama, Romney, and Supreme are doing and why I am the only candidate worthy of your vote. Feel free to call in during the show at 347-945-7487. This show is scheduled to go 30 minutes.
I am able to pick up on most things before anything else. What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know. (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.) I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.
There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week. One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.) President Obama had
flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it. “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people. The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States. I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.
The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better. Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories. Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.
It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.” The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney. I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul. I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme. I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.
The GOP had their 20th debate last night. One thing I noticed about many of these debates is how my health tends to deteriorate during debates. I can’t explain it. The same thing happened with the 2008 general debates between Senators Obama and McCain.
It would be easier to understand if I was on stage in any of these debates. I haven’t been on stage for any debate except for the debate of Independent Presidential Candidates in 2009. I did not get ill during that debate.
It would be easy to understand if I didn’t have a solid platform and wasn’t consistent in my beliefs (besides capital punishment which I still have no position). But nobody has attacked my views on the issues during these debates.
It can’t be because I am live-commentating on the internet. I have done that for other things without getting sick. I have a talk show (it was on hiatus) that I talk live and take phone calls from whomever calls. I do not have anybody to screen my calls, so I do not know who will call. It could be an avid supporter, a citizen who wants to ask questions or a Howard Stern fan calling to say, “Baba Booey.”
I think what is making me sick is the questions being asked. They keep asking about foreign policy and abortion and not questions about the issues people want to have answered: “How would you fight the Cinemafia”, “Does this pass the ‘Vanna’ test?” “What would Joyce DeWitt do about a specified topic?” and other issues tugging at the hearts of Americans.
I was running a fever of 101.3F last night. I felt fine before the debate and I feel fine now. There is a debate scheduled for March 19. This is after Super Tuesday. If it looks like that either Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, or Vermin Supreme are going to run away with this, then it will be canceled. If it’s still muddled after Super Tuesday, then it will be the last GOP debate. I’ll be stocking up on Vitamin C just in case.