I tried to live a normal life, but I was not meant to have a normal life. Some people can’t work a 9:00AM until 5:00PM job. A few people can’t eat ordinary processed foods due to various allergies and ailments. There are even people who insist on setting up a roll of toilet paper with the paper to pull down in front of the roll.
Every time I try to resume a normal life away from politics, something happens and people feel compelled to drag me back in the fire. There were two things that happened in the last week that got people upset enough that they had to talk to me into running for President.
The first thing was President Obama proposing that voting be mandatory. Many people are petrified that the only options on a Presidential ballot are Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush. I know that the Libertarian, Green, Birthday, and other Parties will have candidates, but most people are conditioned to believe that there are only two candidates.
I mentioned the second point in my most recent blog entry. My biggest fear with a Ted Cruz “presidency” is that Stephen Harper will be the de facto President of the United States. If you have seen how badly he is running Canada, there is no way you’d want him to be running our country.
It will take me a while before my campaign is fully operational. My first order of business is to find a volunteer campaign manager who is not currently in prison or living on a commune because he or she found
Harry Kirshner.Hare Krishna. The campaign should be fully operational by the second weekend of April.
Contrary to what Canadians will tell you, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a very clever man. Not only has he been able to have his spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry, he has also been able to infiltrate the Untied States Senate representing a state that hates immigrants.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta. Calgary may seem American, but it’s actually in Canada. Just because the Calgary Flames play hockey against American-based team doesn’t make Calgary an American city any more than the Washington Capitals playing games against Canadian-based teams makes Washington, D.C. a Canadian city.
If that isn’t enough to scare you, Cruz’s father fought for Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution. Castro won the revolution, which lead to strained relations between the United States and Cuba as well as an embargo against Cuba.
I do not know why Republicans, who complained about President Obama possibly being born in Kenya knowingly support a candidate knowingly born outside the United States. I wonder how Republicans (and Democrats) can be so cozy with a country like Canada. If Republicans really loved the United States like the good patriots they claim to be, there is no way that they would consider voting for Ted Cruz in a primary.
It’s time that we quit crying out “Global Warming” and “Climate Change.” As I have stated in the past, climate change is a natural occurrence. It gets cold in the winter before getting warm in the spring (usually) and hot in the winter before cooling off in the fall.
There are people who point out to data which suggests that the earth is getting warmer. What they don’t tell you is that the person who initially collect the data has admitted that the data is flawed. Nobody ever mentions that we got out of the Ice Age long before the American revolution.
For the next few weeks, I will be encouraging global warming. I will be encouraging it until it starts getting hot. The fight against global warming will resume after Memorial Day.
I have been campaigning and will continue to campaign though postings have been sparse in recent months. I will be campaigning in New York City on April 5. I will be picketing Canada’s latest invasion, the Tim Horton’s in Times Square. Picketing will begin as soon as I get a day’s supply of Timbits.
Despite my personal life getting complicated, I have been able to hit the campaign trail. There is a growing dislike of Canadians from everybody that I talk to. The hatred started building last month when US government officials were contemplating taking my advice and deporting Canadian spy Justin Bieber. It built up a bit more last week when Canada’s men’s and women’s hockey teams beat their American counterparts in the men’s semifinals and the women’s gold medal games, respectively.
The final straw has come this week with Canada invading American air space with their “Operation Polar Vortex”. I am convinced that this is a directive given out by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. I have decided not to wait until “President” Obama decides he is going to do something. The planning stages are already underway for what I am calling, “Operation Gulf Melt” aimed at Canadian curling rinks. Anybody can roll a stone on ice, but it takes American talent to skip a stone on water.
I am currently having difficulties finding a place to host my
radio and television shows podcasts. My father doesn’t like it that I have taken to yelling and my mother keeps a bar of Safeguard nearby. They are both doing better, but neither able to live alone.
I will be in Delmar (either Delaware or Maryland – I forget which one, though the two Delmars do border each other.) campaigning this Friday and Saturday. I hope to see you there!
I have run into some difficulty in my latest attempt to run for President. While people have shown overwhelming enthusiasm for my platform, there hasn’t been enough people. While I continue to lead Presidential candidates in the quality of support, it hasn’t turned to the quantity of support (votes).
Another problem I am having is that 2016 is a long time away (By 2016, I really mean January 20, 2017 – the day I would take office). It’s a short time to get a quality campaign capable of winning a nationwide election without spending a dime. It’s an eternity for Obama to mess up things more than they already more and making it impossible for anybody (even me) to clean up all of his messes in only four years.
A true leader takes matters into his own hands. This is why I have declared myself “King of the United States of America”. I am not going to be a power-hungry king. The only immediate action I am taking as King is to have Canadian Spy Justin Bieber deported to Canada where he belongs.
Some of you might remember that I have been a harsh critic of royalty in recent years. Below is a video of a tweet I had tweeted that was read on WPIX in New York:
It seems that America is hungry for a King. The news and social networks have been talking about nothing but the birth of a royal baby all day. This royal baby born today isn’t even American royalty. We need American royalty to help fix this country. I am honored to have selected myself to be the first American King.
I apologize to those of you who thought that this was going to be about me. It’s not. It is about the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper. Kim Jong Un appears to be dangerous because he talks a lot of trash and backs it up by firing bottle rockets. Stephen Harper is a silent man. His weapons are covert and are not noticed until they have penetrated deeply into American culture.
His spy program is unparalleled in the cloak-and-dagger industry. While other countries tend to get their spies to blend in with the general populace, Canadian spies climb to the top of their respective fields. This is most true in the entertainment industry.
Why does infiltrating the Great American Entertainment Industry cause a big threat to national security? Because entertainment is the last great export America possesses. Canada has continually diluted American entertainment by sneaking spies like Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, and Norm MacDonald to sneak into the American entertainment industry. It has gotten to the point that American entertainment is beginning to look like Canadian entertainment. The transformation will be complete when poutine and Timbits become staples in “green rooms” across the country.
Stephen Harper must be stopped NOW!
I spent most of today trying to catch up on what has been happening in the news since Election Day. I haven’t watched the news because I have been vacationing and I had custody of my daughter for most of the last week. Below is my synopsis of some recent events:
- Colorado and Washington legalizing marijuana for recreational use – I support this and on the surface this is good news. There is bad news and I will explain that later.
- Petraeusgate – Former CIA Director David Petraeus resigned following a much-publicized sex scandal. My campaign could use publicity like that. I am not below admitting that I can use the sex.
- Israel vs. Hamas and the Palestinians – I have received heat for what I am about to say in the past, but it bears repeating. The United States should not get involved in the conflict until the Canadian dilemma is settled. Canadian spies like William Shatner, Celine Dion, and Justin Bieber infiltrating and sabotaging the Great American Entertainment Industry must be deported and American entertainment must be restored to its greatness.
- Hostess Closing Down – This is bad news on many levels. I blame the marketing team for the folding of the company. While it is easy to blame the management for being overpaid or the unions for wanting too much, I blame the marketing team for undervaluing their products. I would have sold Twinkees at 40% higher than the suggested retail price. They were at least that much better than Little Debbie’s. Legalizing marijuana just isn’t the same withoout munching on Twinkees or Ho-Ho’s.
Tonight is my last night in Virginia Beach. I head to my parents’ home in Washington, DC tomorrow for Thanksgiving week and head home Friday afternoon.