Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Debate Drinking Game

The first debate is on Wednesday, October 3 at 9:00PM Eastern (8 Central, 7 Mountain, 6 Pacific, etc.).   I hope you won’t have to drive after the debate tomorrow night.  Going to work on Thursday morning might not be a good idea either.  Below are guidelines for when to drink when President Obama, Mitt Romney, and Ahmnodt Heare say something.

Have a drink every time Obama says:

  • Affordable Health Care Act
  • Top 1%
  • The 47%
  • Failed Republican policies
  • Ahmnodt

Have a Drink every time Romney says:

  • Obamacare
  • Failed Obama policies
  • Soft on the Middle East
  • Ahmnodt

Have a drink every time Heare says:

  • Obromneycare
  • Cinemafia
  • pedophile
  • Canada
  • Vermin Supreme

In order to save your liver, if you find yourself drinking because of something that either Obama or Romney said that is not part of the drinking game (There will be a lot of those moments), you can exempt yourself from one of the cues to drink.  There might also be a moment or two when the moderator Jim Lehrer will make you want to drink for asking a stupid question.

Enjoy the debate!  I will be debating in real time in my new chat room.  You do not need an account to sign up and chat and ask me questions Jim Lehrer wouldn’t dare.

October 2, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, debate, humor, issues, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sixty Days to Go

In a campaign season that seemed to start days after the 2008 elections, Americans will be voting for (among other things) President of the United States.  These sixty days will go like lightning for those running for President.  For those of you who aren’t running, it seems like an eternity.  The cable news networks have spent the last four years previewing the 2012 election.

I have spent the last two weeks watching bits and pieces of the two largest political parties’ conventions and their descriptions of a very different America than either you or I live in.  Neither party is addressing the Cinemafia nor are they mentioning the Canadian spies infiltrating the Great American Entertainment Industry.  The tainting of American entertainment will lead to a great depression in morale if not financially.

A decrease in morale will only lead to an increase in drug usage, alcoholism, and Dinty Moore stews.   Not only are Obama and Romney not addressing the disease, they aren’t even attempting to relieve us of the symptoms.  I am the ONLY candidate who addresses both and offers solutions for both.

My campaign is not limited to straightening out the entertainment industry.  I have offered solutions for jobs, energy, health care, the poor, the elderly, and nookie.

My schedule gets very hectic starting Monday.  Mondays through Thursday will be work from 6:00AM to 10:00PM Monday through Thursday and 6:00AM to 4:00PM on Fridays with campaigning on Saturdays and Sundays.  This schedule will be in effect until Columbus Day, when I start campaigning non-stop until the Election.  The days after the election will be spent protesting the results and demanding recounts (unless I win).  The following week will be a vacation in either Hawaii or Nebraska (I will know for sure by next week).

September 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, entertainment, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Sixty Days to Go

The Origins of the Cinemafia

To find where one’s enemy gets its strength, one has to dig into the history of the enemy until one gets to the origin.  The Cinemafia has been around a lot longer than I thought.  The Cinemafia was founded in 1877 in what was then known as Menlo Park, New Jersey.   This Cinemafioso somehow has been able to become an American icon with a town named in his honor.  The person is Thomas Edison.

Thomas Edison did not invent as many things as people thought.  He had over 1,000 patents, but mostly because he marketed the inventions of his employees as his own.  Someone else would do the work and he would take the credit because he patented his employees’ inventions as his own.

This alone wouldn’t connect Edison to the Cinemafia.  Here are a few more facts about Edison for you to digest:  He was a co-founder of General Electric (GE).  GE is the parent company of NBC.  NBC wants us to think that “The Biggest Loser” and “Dateline:NBC” is entertainment.  He also has a patent on the kinectograph.  The kinectograph is the precursor to the motion picture.  It the thingie around in the 1890s that people used to look into while turning a crank to look at motion pictures.

The first pornographic films were shown on devices like this.

The Cinemafia, like other multinational corporations, have branched out into other fields to diversify their sources and to make themselves relevant across a wide variety of formats.  Today’s Cinemafia has a presence in movies, television, televangelism, and music.  Taking down the Cinemafia will not be easy, but it must be done.  Who is with me?

May 18, 2012 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, media, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

2011 – The Debacle (April-June)

“Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom”

April was the month when I discovered that President Obama was a member of the Cinemafia and had no shame about it.   The Cinemafia was also active in censoring me from the mainstream media after this tweet of mine managed to slip into the airwaves:

May started the long string of debates I wasn’t invited to.  I did a tale of the tape comparing my policies to the Republican candidates and President Obama.  I discussed in detailed the death of traditional news as we know it.  The month invaded with Canada invading Atlanta again and stealing their hockey franchise.

June was a horrible month for me as I was unable to campaign much due to various injuries (hamstring, concussion, broken fingernail, etc.)  At least we don’t have to worry about Anthony Weiner or Rod Blagojevich in politics for a while.

 

December 28, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, humor, Obama, politics | , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2011 – The Debacle (April-June)

PRESS RELEASE: Ahmnodt Heare to Run for President

July 22, 2011

Independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare has announced his intention to run for President of the United States.  He made this announcement today in front of his dog and Contessa Brewer of MSNBC fame.  (Ms. Brewer was not at the announcement, but was on television when the announcement was made.)

The original announcement was made on November 5, 2008.  Word did not get out because somebody forgot to hit “send” to the press release that was supposed to go to all of the news agencies.  (I plead the Fifth.)  A lot has changed since then, and not too much for the better.

I had warned when I ran for President in 2008 that whomever would win the election (aside from me) would fail to tackle the issues that matter to Americans the most.  One such issue is affordable entertainment.  I addressed this issue before deciding to run for President.  In my video “Cinemafia,” I addressed why movies were expensive and offered solutions to make entertainment more affordable for Americans.

 

People say that a leader has to be able to compromise.  Hogwash!  All compromise does is take bad ideas from one party and bad ideas from the other party and make it law.  I will enact only those good ideas consistent with my platform.  Doing something is not better than doing nothing when doing something is a step backwards.  I am not afraid of doing nothing.

Below is the contact information to reach Ahmnodt Heare:

e-mail: ahmnodtheare@politician.com

Twitter: @ahmnodtheare

Phone: (507)-AHMNODT (246-6638)

AFNH/mpw

July 22, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

Latest Poll Results

Last week I had a poll asking three questions.  The first question asked how people found my website.  The second issue dealt with issues affecting you.  The final question asked the party affiliation of the presidential candidate you plan on voting for in 2012.

Half of the people polled found my website in a way not mentioned in the poll,  For some reason, I do not have access to the “other” written in responses.  It was a three-way tie for second place between Telepathy, Link, and Search Engine.  Nobody found this site by word-of-mouth.  I encourage to yell your friends who do not have internet and computers to check out this blog.

The second question showed how different people have different things affecting their lives.  As many people were affected by Charlie Sheen as the economy and the budget.  More people cared than did people who cared about war or the Cinemafia.  (Though I think more people will care about the Cinemafia in due time.)

I am encouraged by the results of the last poll.  Nobody plans to vote for a Republican and only one person plans to vote for a Democrat (but only if I am the Democrat.)  People will vote for either an Independent or a third-party candidate.  I am guessing the third party is the Oudda-Heare Party.

I will be back on the campaign trail this weekend.  Campaign details will be announced on my new website tomorrow.

March 22, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Democrats, humor, issues, Poll, Republicans, satire | , , , | 5 Comments

Campaign Polls

This is something I will do a couple times a year.  I am going to ask a few poll questions so my campaign can keep a pulse on the heartbeat of America.  The campaign will not be collecting any personal information in the poll.  You may send your personal information (Name, address, phone number, mother’s maiden name, and social security number) to ahmnodtheare-at-politician-dot-com.

 

March 14, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, election, humor, Poll, Republicans | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Campaign Polls

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