Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Radio Show on April 12

I will be live from the campaign trail on Monday April 12 at 12:00PM Eastern.

Ahmnodt Heare will be live from Iowa discussing the campaign trail as well as well as health care, cap-and-trade, bailouts, and other issues on the minds of Americans. He will also take your phone calls at 1 (347) 945-7487.

Feel free to call in with any questions you may have.

April 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, blogtalk radio, campaign, humor | , , | 1 Comment

Poor John McCain

Senator John McCain said he was misled by Federal Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke and former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson on the $700 billion TARP Program.  He should have sought the advice of somebody who is more fiscally conservative.

I was the only candidate who suggested politicians pay their fair share in taxes.  If Senator McCain listened to my jobs program, we would be out of this recession.  My bailout plan would have cost only $3 billion jobs and would create 270,000 new jobs.

February 23, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Telethon to Save the Hamptons

I am pleased to announce that I have not forgotten the Hamptons and the financial difficulties of the fine people there.  Thanks to your generous support, we have been able to raise $3.65 from can and bottle deposits.

When I last mentioned the Hamptons, I had talked about three families and the difficulties they were enduring.  Clarissa Hartinger is now almost eight years old.  She was able to resume her violin lessons just long enough to give a holiday recital in December 2008.  She has not had a lesson since and is being deprived of her musical talents.  The Bentley’s didn’t even go to Paris in 2009.  They had to settle for a week (and only one week) at Cape Cod.

Nobody has been hit harder than the Carlington’s.  The good news is they did get their seventh bathroom installed.  The bad news is they had to sell their beachfront eight-bedroom / seven-bathroom home and move to a five-bedroom / four-bath house in Scarsdale.  They are no longer near a beach.  Little Biff has had to undergo counseling.

These people need our help more than ever to return to their lifestyles.  They can’t cope with their current third-world status.  This is why I will be hosting a special telethon next Friday at 9:00PM Eastern.  I will give out more details about the telethon as the week progresses.

February 1, 2010 Posted by | Bailout, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bank Bailouts

President Obama said he hated bailing out the banks.  But he did it.  Those banks prospered while America struggled with lost jobs.

January 27, 2010 Posted by | Bailout, commentary, State of the Union 2010 | , | 1 Comment

Campaigning Schedule Jan 25 – 30

I am not speaking to any groups this week, but I will be out campaigning to get my campaign some word-of-mouth exposure.  While this will not give my campaign the exposure that a thirty-second ad would, I will have instant results (for the most part) of the effectiveness of my campaign.

Monday 1/25: – I will be campaigning in cemeteries in the Monroe, NY and Chester, NY areas.  This will take me a while to measure the results as most of the deceased will not be able to register to vote immediately.  I will probably have to wait for a news story to appear of party leaders commenting about the spike in registered deceased voters.

1/26 – Orange County Morgue – Goshen, NY: Unlike cemeteries, these people are recently deceased and could very well be registered voters.  They will need assurance that just because they are dead, it doesn’t mean that nobody is fighting for their rights.

1/27 – Woodbury Commons, Central Valley, NY: Many of these people are still alive and are probably feeling the effects of the economy.  I will distribute copies of my economic bailout plan and explain why my bailout plan is better than bailout plans offered by either President Obama or former President Bush.

8:00 PM (Eastern) – Real-time blogging of the State of the Union Address.

1/28 – Meet Ahmnodt Heare – Planet Pizza, Monroe, NY: I will have lunch at Planet Pizza this Thursday.  I will answer questions you may have about my campaign as soon as I am finished eating.  (My mother always harps on me about talking with my mouth full, so I will not be able to answer questions while I am eating.)

1/29 – Telepathic Teleconference: I will be hosting a telepathic teleconference at Noon on Friday.  All my fellow telepathetic people are welcome to attend.

1/30 – Boycott the Cinemafia Day: I encourage everybody to do anything on Saturday except watch a movie.  This includes home, at the theather, in prison, and anywhere else.

My work week will be pretty full, but since I have a full slate of clients, I can work around my campaigning schedule.  Please attend at least one of these events.  I am looking forward to meeting you.

January 24, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, humor, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ahmnodt Running for Senate

It has come to my attention that some supporters in Massachusetts were going to write my name in for Senator.  I tried to tell them I was not interested, but they said they were going to write my name in anyway.

I appreciate the offer, but I do not really want the job.  This scares me because my not wanting the job might drive people to vote for me so I end up winning.  Let’s look at the three candidates running in Tuesday’s special election:

Republican – Scott Brown:  His claim to fame was posing for Cosmopolitan magazine wearing tightie whities.  He parlayed that success into a state senate job.  As a state senator, he wrote “RomneyCare.”  as a U.S. Senator, he vowed to vote against ObamaCare, even though they are the same thing.

Democrat – Martha Coakley:  Her bailout plan is the opposite of mine.  While I would bail out companies that have folded, she would bail out companies that do not exist yet.  She also claims by making wise investments in health care and education, that would create jobs.  The one problem is that she would be voting against President Obama’s plan because his plan hasn’t been wise.

Other – Joseph Kennedy:  He is either an independent or a libertarian depending on who you ask.  He is quick to distance himself from the Kennedy clan by announcing he isn’t related to them or the late Edward Kennedy.  This is the wisest decision made by any of the candidates.

I guess I am running also.  I don’t want to win because being a senator is boring and there isn’t enough caffeine in Washington to keep me awake in a debate between Harry Reed and Mitch McConnell.  But if you must vote for me, my first name is spelled “A-H-M-N-O-D-T” and my last name is “H-E-A-R-E”  as in “Can you hear me?”  Only my “Hear” has an “e” at the end.

May the second best candidate win.

January 13, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, editorial, election, health care, humor, politics, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Partaking in the Next Round of Stimulus

I have decided to apply for a stimulus grant after all.  I have bashed Presidents Obama and Bush for this and the way they went about it.

I have decided to apply for a grant for the Museum of Pornographic Arts .  I figure I would need $5 million dollars to get started.  Some of the things I would need include a building for the museum (including the hands-on exhibit for the children), old pornographic magazines to show the history of pornography, and porn stars giving demonstrations for people willing to learn.

The museum is not going to be in Kernersville, NC, as I had originally hoped.  It will instead be in Hamburg, NJ.  It will be a willing participant in the “Bah Hamburg” campaign I started.

I have been questioned about the number of jobs it will be created.  There will be a museum curator, a custodian, a full-time and a part-time cafeteria worker, two full-time demonstrators and six-to-eight part-time demonstrators (for gang-bang scenes, etc.)

According to my congressman, it takes a while for a project to get approved.  I will look for a building for the museum while in the application process.

January 7, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, economy, education, humor, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

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