Why I Have to Run for President

I was hoping that I would not have to run for President in 2016.  My life is getting more hectic as my parents’ health conditions are not getting better, my daughter and her mother are getting ready to move away, and the local “Hello Kitty” fan club is getting chaotic due to the lack of a fan club president.

The sad truth is that America is in bad shape now, and will continue to get worse if any for the popular candidates considering a run for president ends up getting elected.  Hillary Clinton isn’t going to fix anything.  Neither will Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul.  they will just continue the same debacle of a plan that America has been on since George W. Bush took office in 2001.  America will soon cease to exist as we know it if any of these people get elected.  They all would continue to carry out the same policies that George W. Bush and Barack Obama have carried out.  My platform is refreshingly different.

We cannot continue to have our police harass the good people when there are so many bad people who need to be arrested.  People like drug dealers, hoodlums, and hipsters need to be taken off the streets and into a jail that doesn’t have internet.  The system that the government uses to calculate inflation has to change to a system that includes the prices of things that go up.  Otherwise, you end up with what we have now.  (“Low” inflation based on the cost of merchandise at Dollar Tree.)

We need a foreign policy that discourages the knee-jerk reaction of bringing the troops all over the world to intervene in every situation.  Our wars have to be few, brief, and fiscally responsible.  They also have to be fought as humanely as possible.

The IRS needs to be taken out of health care, day care, and lemonade stands.  The TSA needs to be taken out of airports and replaced with massage therapists.  The FDA has to be told that cell phones are neither a food nor a drug and that cell phones shouldn’t have to meet FDA guidelines.

I am running for President because I want an America that I, my child, your children, and Nadia Suleman’s children can live in without fear of government becoming bankrupt either fiscally or morally and can plan a better lives for their children and grandchildren.

 

State of the Union Address Tuesday Night

President Obama will be giving the State of the Union address tomorrow evening.  I will be commenting in real-time my take on the address as well as the Republican responses.  Later in the week, I will also be writing the State of the Union address I would have given if I was elected.

A couple of notes about tomorrow night’s entries:

• My comments will probably be a bit more jaded than in previous State of the Union addresses in the past.  Not because I am bitter about the election, but because I am bitter about the poor start the Washington Capitals’ season and that they currently have the worst record in the NHL.  Adam Oates would have been a better coach if he was still with Darryl Hall.  Life hasn’t been the same since Hall and Oates broke up.
• I may not watch the entire address.  I will try, but Obama bores me.  At least with Bush, there was always a chance of a gaffe.  It would be more entertaining if Joe Biden gave it for Obama, but it is what it is.
• I have a bad habit of getting sick during addresses and debates.  I am drinking orange juice (with just a little bit of vodka) to keep healthy.

I shall return to regular blogging here on March 4.  I will remind you now that February 19 is Vanna White’s birthday and I will be unavailable for interviews due to religious observation.

One Billion Reasons to Vote for Ahmnodt Heare

This is going to shape up to be the most expensive presidential race in history.  Half a billion dollars have already been wasted on the race with another half-billion to be squandered in the months ahead.  Neither Barack Obama nor Mitt Romney will be able to clean up Obama’s mess just like Obama hasn’t able to clean up George W. Bush’s meess and Bush wasn’t able to clean up Clinton’s mess (not even with using a blue dress as a rag.)

Let not the media fool you.  People who spend that type of money on an election campaign are not doing it because they want to serve you.  They are spending that money as an investment in themselves and their buddies.  If they really wanted to serve you, all they would have to do is serve you.

In the upcoming months, you will see a lot of political commercials.  Most of the commercials will state how bad one candidate is.  Few will explain why you should vote for somebody and not against another person.

Keep these things in mind as you see all of these political ads between now and November.  1) Obama’s and Romney’s campaigns and their supporting PACs are spending one billion dollars to beat over the head with commercial after commercial after commercial.  2)I can’t be blamed for the deluge of commercials because I am not airing any.  When you get sick of the commercials, remember the candidate who respects you enough not to air any ads.  Remember Ahmnodt Heare.

I am Ahmnodt Heare and I approve this message.

Paul Ryan

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney named Majority Whip Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  This is good news for my campaign.  Picking Paul Ryan all but assures that Mitt Romney will nor be elected President.  Don’t get me wrong, Congressman Ryan has all that it takes to be Vice-President.  He can vote the way he’s supposed to vote to break ties in the Senate.  He can go to ribbon-cutting ceremonies and give speeches.  And he can brew coffee.  (Since he would be Romney’s Vice-President, he wouldn’t have to brew coffee often because Romney doesn’t drink coffee.)

There are three reasons why Paul Ryan is a bad choice for Vice-President.  The first is because he it touted as a”Budget Guru”. but the budget he proposed in 2010 promised ten more years of Bush-sized deficits.  One reason why Obama won in 2008 was because he promised we would no longer have Bush-sized deficits.  (He didn’t tell us that his deficits would be much larger.)

The second is because he is hardly what one would call “assassination insurance”.  People want their president around for four years.  The reason why no serious attempt has been put on any president in recent years is because people were too scared of what would happen if the Vice-President became President.  This is why Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, and Joe Biden have been picked as Vice-President.  As bad as things were with George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have been, it would have been worse if either of their vice-presidents were to take over.  Joe Biden is why Barack Obama is still alive and is why Hillary Clinton will never be a vice-president.

The third reason is because Paul Ryan is not Albee Thayer.  Albee Thayer is one of the best debaters in the world and would easily beat Ryan and Biden in a Vice-Presidential debate.

I wish the Romney/Ryan ticket luck, but it won’t do much good.  One foot is already in the grave and the other is on a banana peel on a wet marble floor.

Political Speak

Politicians have to rephrase many of their ideas so that people would like them.  They also like to distort the meaning of words to their advantage.  When you think about it, “conservatives” don’t conserve and “liberals” don’t liberate.

Sometimes, that is not enough.  Politicians sometimes have to create their own phrases.  Mitt Romney recently coined, “retroactive retirement”, which I think means that he quit working for Bain Capital in 1999, but didn’t consider it a “retirement” until last week.  Former President George W. Bush had a few such phrases.  “Preemptive Strike” and “Enhanced Interrogation” are two of the more common phrases he used.  Former President wanted us to think there was more than one definition of the word, “is.”

I have a few phrases that I have created and/or distorted to my benefit.  Here are a few of them:

• “Independent Pharmaceutical Distributor” – A drug dealer
• “Erotic Consultant” – a prostitute
• “Pakghaniraq” – A place where we like to drop bombs to promote peace.
• “Gay” – an exact number greater than 100 that is derived from anal-retentive inventory takers.  (“Gay” has meant to “happy” to a sexual orientation, to a synonym for “lame.”  I wanted my own definition.

I will probably hear that I shouldn’t stoop to the level of my opponents.  I didn’t want to, but Americans have become too accustomed to looking down at the pool of candidates for office instead of looking up.  The only people who heard of me before today (July 17, 2012) were my supporters.  I would like to thank them for looking up instead of down.

Get it Right

It’s been a long time since America has had a President with a positive approval rating among independents.  The last president who was popular among independents like me was Ronald Reagan.  We have had two Republican presidents and two Democratic presidents since then.  I haven’r been impressed with any of the presidents since Reagan and neither have many independents.

I have been looking at qualities that Reagan and I have that neither Clinton, Obama, nor either of the Bush Presidents have.  The most glaring trait is that Reagan and I are right-handed while the others are all left-handed.  It’s not the wing that matters in presiding over a country, it’s the hand a president uses.

Right-handed presidents bring America in the right direction.  Left-handed presidents bring us in the wrong direction.  Recent history has proven this.  You can either re-elect a left-handed president who will bring America in the same wrong direction since 1989, or you can vote for a right-handed candidate like Ahmnodt Heare, who will bring America in the right direction.

A Sad Day for America

The Supreme Court voted today 5-4 to uphold “ObamaCare.”  To show that I am not a ranting Republican with a knee-jerk reaction to anything President Obama does, I will explain why the Republicans are also to blame for this ruling.

Do not forget that the heart and soul of “ObamaCare” came from a health care plan implemented in Massachusetts.  Their health care plan is the “brainchild” of their former governor, Mitt Romney.  Mitt Romney is a Republican.

The vote on the Supreme Court was 5-4 with the deciding vote being cast by Chief Justice John Roberts.  He was appointed to the Supreme Court by former President George W. Bush.  George W. Bush is a Republican.

The reason why it is a sad say for Americans is because this decision does NOTHING to encourage thriftiness in spending.  It doesn’t answer why it costs $20 for a Tylenol at a hospital or why everything associated with healthcare (doctors, medicine, medical equipment, hospitals, malpractice attorneys) is so expensive.  With “no insurance for me, thank you very much” no longer an option, insurance companies (the companies people say Democrats hate, but become the big winners under “Obamacare”) can raise rates because they now know that a person not carrying insurance is no longer an option.

This is why I am an independent.  The political party says one thing but always seems to set the groundwork for the exact opposite.  I don’t have to worry about leaders in my party undermining everything I believe in and they say they believe in.

My plan is the only plan that tries to tackle the costs of healthcare.  Affordable health care  means less money needed for insurance premiums and fewer taxes collected for Medicare and Medicaid.  Both “ObamaCare” and “RomneyCare” will end up costing Americans more money out of their pockets than we are currently paying.